I know I haven't written for ages, so I ought to post something extra long to make up for that. But firstly, I don't think anyone would be bothered to read it, and secondly, it's not like I can be bothered to write it. So I won't. There is one noble fragment of information however, that I feel obliged to share with you.
Trivial Pursuit is the work of SATAN.
I had always suspected as much, but yesterday I was convinced beyond all doubt. Everything, EVERYTHING about it is designed to drive people towards a murderous rampage. The obscenely obscure questions that require about 5 minutes of furious conferring among a team, to eventually settle on the wrong answer. The way it takes on minimum about 4 bloody hours to finish because your little cousin insists on rolling the dice for everybody, shakes it for 10 seconds before doing so each time, then loses it under the dog so the whole sorry process has to be repeated over and over. Even the shape of the sodding counters is designed to anger, aggravate and annoy - cheese, as I'm sure you all know, gives you NIGHTMARES. Like that of a neverending game of Trivial Pursuit. In the slightly sozzled state most people fall under around this time of year, murdering one's friends and family may seem preferable to such a hideous situation. Unless Hasbro has branched out into funeral directing without my notice, and are in need of more business, it seems clear that the game is simply a vehicle of Beelzebub to gain more wicked followers.
To further prove my point in the hope of saving my readers from a horrible TP induced fate, I braved the official trivial pursuit website to find further proof of their evil ways. Behold! Irrefutable evidence, straight from the horse's mouth:
'Since its official introduction in 1982, this phenomenally successful board game has been testing game players' wits to the limit.'That may sound innocent enough - they wish only to challenge us intellectually, not to send us looking for kitchen knives, surely... BUT NO. If one looks up the word 'wits' in a trusty dictionary, one will immediately see that 'wits' can also mean 'Sound mental faculties; sanity'.
So, the devils admit it themselves- they fully intend to drive us so crazy that death is preferable to playing their game of hate any longer. FIENDS.
One further fact: the holiday season is well-known to have higher numbers of suicides than any other time of year. And Trivial Pursuit is played when families gather together, ie the holiday season. Coincedence? I think not.
I therefore implore you, beloved readers, to stay away from this game of depravity for the good of yourselves and others.
Hope you had a merry Christmas, and a Trivial Pursuit-free new year to you all.
