I haven't written anything for a couple of months. But never fear, that drought of words is coming to an end! Unfortunately, the result is going to be rambling, directionless and largely incoherent, as this is a revision-boredom inspired post, rather than a something-to-say inspired post. Sorry.

By the way, a big thank you to those who responded with kind/don't-be-so-pathetic style words after my previous emo-whiney entry. I had had an utterly miserable evening, and while I don't usually go for things of that style (that's what LiveJournal is for...), I really could not help myself. In cheering news, I have not felt as low since that evening, so for the time being my mental state appears to be somewhat normal.

So. Revision. For the time being, I appear to actually be rather on top of things, a feeling I have not experienced since my GCSE days when an afternoon or two spent glancing over a year's work was quite ample. There are a few reasons for my relatively great work ethic of late:
1. The work is more interesting. There were no necrophiliac stag beetles at GCSE level.
2. I do not wish to repeat the experience of January's exams, which saw me hardly do any work, severly underperform and thus disappoint myself, and have my first, heart-splitting panic attack. Panic attacks = not cool.
3. There really isn't that much else to do when everyone else is revising.

Of course, no matter how enthused and dedicated I am to my subject, I will always need some breaks as too much in one go drives anyone loopy. There is something incredibly depressing about being stuck in one's room all day- especially when the sun is shining, what smart guy decided to put the major exam season in the Summertime?- staring at the same four walls and breathing the same stale air. I could go to the library, only at present it is brimming over with students and I fear I would trip over several prone bodies in an attempt to find a seat. Also, one the last two occasions I have been there, there has been a couple directly in front of me on the verge of fumbling out of their jeans and having sex right there, right then on the desk. Am I alone in thinking that the libary is not a terribly erotic location, and that love-making has no place within its walls? (Fun fact: apparently the I.C. shower has had to be closed at night-time a couple of months following its opening, for precisely that reason. I know students are meant to be sex-crazed maniacs, but really. A little diginity, anyone?)

It's strange that being shut up in here bothers me so much, because at home I rarely leave my bedroom. It contains everything I need, bar a TV, food and a toilet. Here, the last item on that list of essentials is dealt with thanks to my en suite, but being shut up in here still drives me potty. I hate just having this one tiny space to call my own; at least in a flat, I would have a kitchen and living space to venture out to if I was really climbing up the walls. In hindsight, I believe I made completely the wrong decision in choosing to live in halls. Now I can see that my decision to do so was clearly influenced by university propaganda: 'In halls, I will get the thrill of the true student experience!' I thought. Which would be fine, except 'the true student experience' appears to largely be centred around drinking copious amounts of cheap alcohol, partying long and hard into the night and watching shitty teenage soaps before and after dinner. Do I, or have I ever liked any of those things? No. Oops. But of course, it has to be said that were I not living here, I would never have met some fabulous people, and my life would be poorer for that. As ever, there is a silver lining to my cloud.

That's something that has always bothered me a bit though. If I had not made certain key decisions in my life, I would never have met certain key people. But would not there have been other, equally amazing people on the flip-side to each of the choices I make? People who would be different from those I know now, of course, but people that the other me would regard as equally important as this-world's me regards those I love and care about? I'm not convinced that made complete sense, but hopefully you can see what I'm getting at. I realise that this could sound insulting- like I wouldn't mind trading people from this life for those in an alternate life- but I don't mean it personally. It's just interesting to think about. I wish I could take a peek at the lives of all the parallel-Alices and see how they're getting on.

This is the kind of thing I think about when I've mostly only had myself to talk to all day.