There is a giant fly in my room. In all my years I have never seen a fly so big. It is more like an airborne rat, a flying blob of death and disease. It makes me shudder and scratch at myself just to look at it.

But how can I rid my room of this hateful beast? I have tried turning all the lights out and waiting til it goes away- no result. I have tried to catch it with a cup-like vessel and a piece of paper (AS exam results), but again, to no avail.

The only option left seems to be to shmush it with my bare fist, or whatever club-like object comes to hand. But then there will be a great dark smur of fly innards on my beautiful fish-swimming wallpaper.

It seems the fly and I will just have to learn to accept one another and co-habitate in peace. Or at least maintain a healthy distance from one another. But if I wake up tomorrow with pustules erupting all over my face, shivery and frail, you know why.

The fly did it.