Usually I like coincedences. I like the feeling that things all slot neatly together in some kind of huge cosmic jigsaw puzzle. If I believed in God, I'd take it as irrefutable evidence that He exists. However, if I were to use coincedences as proof of the Almighty, then judging by the incredible RUBBISHNESS of the one He set up for tomorrow, He has a rather warped sense of humour and I wouldn't want Him to be the Lord of all creation anyway.

In short: tomorrow is the first opportunity I have had to go out with fabulous new boyfriend Tom. 'Hooray!' I think, 'How fantastic and wonderful!' Then, half way through looking at cinema times, I remember that tomorrow it's my mother's sodding birthday.

While this is usually something I could talk to her about and work around, unfortunately she is not in the country. She is in Singapore, as of last Saturday, and will be for the next two weeks, and I promised her that I'd phone her on her birthday. And due to time differences, I have to do so immediately when I get home from school, else phone in the middle of the night. Which means no going out after school, which leads to feelings of guilt for disappointing Tom, guilt for forgetting my mum's birthday and then being angry at her for having it tomorrow, and of course intense sadness on my own behalf.

If you're up there, God, screw you.