Something incredibly amazing and awe-inspiring has just happened to me, and I just needed someone to talk to about it. And so, as ever, that person is YOU, big-faceless-black-hole of the internet.

I have just embarked on a biltz of my room in preparation for the arrival of The French Relatives later this week; cousin Sebastian, whom I have never met, will be staying in my room while I am shunted out variously to a friend's house/cheap hotel/local crack-den. I thought the least I could do for this mysterious cousin of mine is provide him with a room which he can retire to at night without waking up under a fresh sheet of dust in the morning. (While outwardly tidy, my room is in fact FILTHY. It actually makes me feel physically sick to see how dirty and dusty everything is. When I am older and have my own house and money I am so getting a cleaner.)

And so, to cleaning. I decided to begin with the shelf above my monitor, which houses a number of CDs, DVDs, pointless ornaments and various vessles containing money. Inside one of the latter objects is where I hold my vast collection of 1ps and 2ps, which one day I intend to carefully tip, one by one, into the charity box by the till at some shop or other, holding up the queue behind me for several minutes. I need to get my fun somehow. I haven't touched this little cup for months and months so, curious as to how many copper coins I had by now amassed, I tipped its contents out upon my desk for counting.

There, buried among their darker brothers and sisters, were a number of glorious 5-pence pieces, glistening in the cool Summer light. Not just one, or two, but ONE POUND FORTY-FIVE PENCE worth. I can only conclude that some of the pennies and tupennies had been there so long, crushed under the weight of all the others, that they were forcibly transformed into their new shinier, sleeker, more valuable form.

The five-pence piece is a sedimentary coin. I'm out to go buy £1.45 worth of confectionary at the local shop and laugh as the cashier has to count all my tiddly money up.

ALSO: I have just decided on a whim to put the address for this up on my facebook, so possibly some actual real people I know may end up reading this. If that sounds like you, hello there! Don't be shy! Leave a note saying how much you've enjoyed my astounding prose/am amazed by my incredible self-absorption. I thought doing this would be a good idea if people from my humble school-days have any deeper interest in what I'm getting up to, apart from what goes up on that hungry-cesspit of a website. Does that sound like a good idea to you? I do hope so.