I am currently hiding upstairs while my French grandfather, his girlfriend, my aunt and uncle chatter and chortle below. Soon I will be ousted from my position of safety, as Mysterious Cousin Sebastian will be taking over my room as soon as he arrives, which is ANY MOMENT NOW. The suspense is killing me. Here is a list of all that I know about him:

• His name is Sebastian.
• He has recently fathered a child. It is a girl. I do not remember her name.
• He is not married, but has a long-term girlfriend. Again, I do not remember her name. (Thus, while my uncle Olivier won the competition to be a grandfather first, my mother won the competition to marry off one of her offspring first. I am unsure as to which is the more desirable competition to win.)
• Him and the girlfriend live in France, somewhere in Auvergne I believe. Somewhere beginnig with A at any rate.
  
• Whilst studying at college (in the US), Sebastian reputedly did no work whatsoever. However, as his father paid for his accomodation in a penthouse flat, he did not learn the importance of working hard to earn pretty things. (As this information comes from my mother, however, it may well be grossly exagerrated, if not completely backward.)
  
• He worked as a barman at some point.
• Apparently he is nice, and rather shy.
  

I hope he does not smell, as I would like my room to be in a habitable state when I return to it (Sunday night). Give me luck and strength for the long-awaited/dreaded Wedding Reception tomorrow night- crucially, I need luck to fit back into my bridesmaid dress. Stupid no-good fitted dress which disagrees with my hips...

***EDIT*** I have now met Mysterious Cousin Sebastian, and can say with all my authority that he is a very nice young fellow. The rest of the family are completely loopy over him- no one has seen him very much for the past 20 years or so owing to his living in the States. Whenever he left a room, a chorus of adulation would break out: 'Oh, he's so polite... so helpful... kind, caring...' etc etc. Which is true, but it did get a wee bit nauseating after a while. (The family's comments, not him. He seemed rather embarrassed by it.) He is also very quiet, and quite a solitary being- at quite a few points over the Reception day, I'd see him sat all on his own with a cigarette and so went to keep him company, but I suspect that he likes it that way. That's another thing- he smokes A LOT. This may have been down partly to nerves, but really, he never spent longer than 5 minutes without lighting up. Poor Seb's lungs. Despite this minor shortcoming, however, I would still say Seb is Nice and is an example of Good Cousin-hood everywhere.