Greetings blog! I'd practically forgotten all about you. Apologies to my imaginary legions of fans who were eagerly awaiting news on my initial experinces of The Great University Adventure. Well, wait no more, dear friends, as news you shall receive!
(NB: I am still on a bit of a biscuit high. Too many hob-nobs. (£1.20 for two packs in Somerfield- I have become something of a biscuit fiend in my months away. Comfort food, like.) So I'm sorry if my opening paragraphs make me sound like an eejit, my writings will likely get increasingly more depressive as the sugary goodness leaves my system.)
So yeah, uni. S'alright, I suppose. Those of you who remember my previous post (and those of you who don't, you need only scroll downwards a little to read it...), full of vigour and enthusiasm about coming here, may be sad to hear my indifference to uni in general. But really, I should have seen the disappointment coming. What was I thinking, foolishly imagining that everyone would be super-nice and friendly, and that I'd get stuck right into my course, and that I'd always be going out and being sociable and stuff? MADNESS. Well, it's like that for some people, but for others- and I have reason to believe that there are more of us than one would initially think- it's really not. It could just be the Halls I'm in, but I am quite honestly stunned by how clique-y it is here- after only a few days, people were gelling together into big amorphous blobs. While over the first couple weeks these blobs were wobbly and undefined- such that new people could join, or leave, a blob- after only a month or so these blobs became pretty solid. And although blobs probably contain a nice person or two, it's somewhat awkward and intimidating trying to penetrate its mucous-y outer layer. (Biomed student, alright?) No awards for guessing that I am blob-free. It's a good thing really, as I am not suited to blob-style living; I'd much rather spend time with a few, select people I truly like, rather than a large mob of those I'm not so keen on. And yet, it is hard to be the one on the outside, looking in; sometimes looks cosy, being a blob.
As one of my actual good friends here said, it's like year 7 all over again, but worse. Maybe other people enjoyed year 7, but I HATED it- it was filled with new and scary people I didn't know, the work was harder- or at least in a style I wasn't used to-, and I would worry about the scary tests that appeared to occur with alarming frequency. Uni is basically like that but tenfold worse, and I can no longer use the excuse of being young, foolish and inexperienced. The cliques here are more solid than they could ever have been in year 7, as members are spending their free time together, rather than their educational time. The work is not always harder than at A-level- although it frequently is- but as it mainly consists of 'Independent Learning', ie reading textbooks for hours on end, I find it extremely hard to motivate myself. No matter how many pretty diagrams you put in, some things still make you want to kill yourself as you study them. Finally, the propect of tests is TERRIFYING. While one would hope that a 40% pass mark would be piss-easy to achive, considering how little I've properly read up on for my lectures, even getting 40 bloody percent sometimes seems unlikely.
While I realise I've made it sound like I'm having a terrible time, I am actually quite liking uni at the moment. I have met some lovely people by now, and know that despite appearances, not everyone is a YEAH-WILD-PARTY-ALL-THE-TIME!!! style character. There were moments in the first few weeks when I seriously wanted to just give up and go home but, quite apart from the fear of giving my mother a heart attack were I to announce my dropping out, I think I'm fully over that now. I'm here for the long haul. I'm stubborn. Work is still not being done enough, but I'm at least improving on that and, as long as I get to grips with it properly over the Christmas holidays, I should be fine. Hopefully. By the grace of God... And there is, of course, Alex, who gives me something to look forward to every weekend, is my life-line in times of distress, and is an all-round ,potty-mouthed angel.
I realise now, almost an hour later, that there's still a lot of things I want to write about. However, as it's nearly 2am, I figure I ought to try and sleep. Late nights have generally been altogether too common a feature to my university life-style, despite my not going out a huge amount. Peculiar.
Sleepy time. I might write more in the morning if I've got time before my lecture. I might not. I realise I have not proof-read this for typos as I usually do, either, so it is probably riddled with unsightly spelling and grammar mistakes. I could not give a flying fig at present, however, as a wave of extreme tiredness has just hit me and I crave bed more than I craved biscuits earlier. That's a whole lotta craving.
2 Comments:
Hmmm, if anything I would say that it was a good thing. They possibly may be all cynical, leaving for you to become the head of the Biomedics.
I applied for English Language and Linguistics, but in a realisation of that is not what I want to do, want to change it to Lang & Lit, which I would definitely prefer.
Ahhhh, you know resurrecting your blog is a good thing. You'll wonder how you did without it!
"Potty-mouthed Angel"??!
Get fucked.
xo
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